|Credit: Black Lamb Photography|
Friday, 11 September 2015
Always a bride, never a bridesmaid!
The first wedding I ever attended in North America was that of my friend Mary, whom I knew from work. She was the right hand of one of the specialists I worked a lot with in those early years. When she invited me to their wedding I was elated! Firstly, she and John are a great couple. Secondly, they're Scottish and Scottish people I had heard knew how to chill. Thirdly - ok, firstly - there would be bachelors wearing kilts and I was very single back then. I was looking forward to checking out the offerings, if you know what I mean!
[Public notice: Kilt-wearing men and firefighters in uniforms - yes, women often have a thing for that sort of attire, just so you know!]
There was no 'plus one' on my invitation and I pretty much didn't know anyone at the wedding other than the bride, so after an hour or so of people watching I felt compelled to talk to someone. It's moi after all!
The easiest target was the jolly-looking father of the bride. With his rosy cheeks and cute outfit I was sure I would find something to talk to him about.
"Hi - my name is Marina. I work with Mary." I leaned into him so that he could hear me over the background noise of the talking people and clinking glasses.
"Ayeeee... Weddings!" - he screeched a thick Scottish accent - it sounded like "weedings". He put his arm on my shoulder as if he were about to reveal some rare truth - "It's all rubbish!" His rough rolling "r" is still ringing in my ears, making me laugh all these years later!
And although I too once thought that weddings and marriage were rubbish, this third and last time I tend to love the idea of a marriage. But not the one I grew up with - with the expectation and pressure to find a soul mate slash equally-educated slash gainfully-employed slash 'good genetic material' (ha, ha, ha #youknowwhoyouare) slash no-baggage kind of deal while the biological clock is ticking.
My perfect marriage is the one with the sole-mate, s.o.l.e. - someone with whom you walk effortlessly through this lifetime. Soul-mates are everywhere - most of my girl-friends are my soul mates – but there is only one sole-mate. The one with whom you will aimlessly walk the world's cities. The one who will go with you to the parent-teacher meetings and paediatrician's appointments. The one with whom you will look at funny silly videos on YouTube. The one who will tell me the hotel is booked and so is the car rental and now we just have to hunt for flights. The one who convinces me it's time for an All-You-Can-Eat sushi dinner. The one who appreciates what I do for our family. The one who surprises me with how much he does for our family. And the one who is happy for me go to places like India to fulfill my desire to experience something raw and intrinsically important only to myself.
Tomorrow, one of my dearest and closest friends will say yes to her man. Linda was the very first person I met on my very first day at work in Canada almost seventeen years ago. Let's just say we've been through a lot together. The ups and downs and heartbreaks and real scary moments and hope and courage and joy and infinite love and gratitude. Linda is a soul-mate of mine!
I guess it must be a good thing that Linda and her man decided to have a relaxed ceremony followed by a night of dancing and debauchery (the actual words on the invite!). This means no formal uptight stuff. Just heart and soul and fun stuff. But alas, this also means no bridesmaids. Which consequently means no war with a certain Jen I'm about to meet tomorrow as well as an army of her childhood friends aka "beach-getaway-girl-crew" I was always so jealous of. That's good, because I don't take rejection very well and one clearly can't have 10+ bridesmaids, can one? But I have never been a bridesmaid!!!
And I really wanted to be one for once, dammit!
I can't fall asleep tonight in the sweet anticipation of seeing my friend standing tomorrow gloriously happy. And, oh, happy she is! Congratulations! Félicitations! Čestitamo! Mazel Tov, you guys!